Gaara's Stalker
by Alibi Nonsense
Summary: She always drags me along! I don't know why she does it... well, I do. It's another one of her stalking 'missions'. Like birdwatching, only the Kazekage's not a bird. And he could throw us in prison if he caught us...


Two girls stood in the middle of the sand village, leaning against the wall of the Kasekage's building, their loose cotton cloaks hiding the outline of their bronzed limbs. Their hair fluttered about wildly in the uncumbered desert wind like tassles; strands snapping and writhing until they were swept back by impatient hands or fingers.

One was Rei, the taller one, sixteen years old and already very pretty with long black hair and blue eyes. The other was Tsukiko, one year younger than her friend. She was pretty in a different way: more sutle, calmer, practical, shy. Rei was already telling her, for the third time that day, to cut her hair into a bob so that people could actually see her face, but Tsukiko didn't listen: she never really listened.

"Ok," Rei was saying, "Apparently, I heard that - y'know the Kasekage, right? And that tomorrow is the anniversary of when Shukaku was extracted? Yeah? - well, they're having a national celebration."

Tsukiko nodded, her eyes following the beetle on the wall across from them. Her mind was elsewhere. Rei always liked to talk about such boring things...

"Yeah, and they're having, like, a feast, and stuff. In honour. Outside. The Kasekage's gonna be there and everything!"

Tsukiko murmered something about sand getting into the food and Rei brushed it aside with an, "Oh, they're getting glass dishes and stuff to cover it. It'll be fine! I'm just looking forward to eating with his kageship. It's gonna be like a national day! And we'll be able to stare at his royal hotness for the whole duration of the meal... mmm... (she licked her lips and giggled) yummy!"

"But, won't he be... too busy?"

"Oh, it's gonna be, like, a compulsory do. He's gotta go. And Lord Kankuro and Lady Temari are gonna be there to make sure he sits it out."

"Oh..." Tsukiko sighed inwardly. Rei was going to drag her along to yet another state event to see 'his delicious hotness' and sit, glued to her chair, eyes focused in one direction only… and it was always the same direction. It was so irritating! Always so... but before she had time to think of anything suitable to fill the awaiting gap, Rei blushed and tugged on her hand.

"He's up there!" she hissed, pointing obviously to the balcony above; the balcony which, extended over it had, the Kasekage's head.

Gaara was dressed as he was normally dressed for his job: traditional japanese hat, blue kimono and white kage robes. His hair was tousled and his eyes were heavy from last night's pile of mission reports. He held his hat over the railing and sighed dejectedly, gazing deliberately at the roof of the building opposite to avoid meeting the awaiting gaze of the girls below. The thing was, Gaara didn't do girls: he just didn't understand them! He wished them away most of the time, glad of his siblings' bodyguard-like protection and the dark heavily-tinted windows of the Kasekage's office block... but sometimes, when he wanted to be alone (and not in an office or the wilderness), he was always dragged down by the thought that there were always more girls. Waiting for him.

On Valentine's day, he burnt his mail to avoid reading it; on Christmas, he barricaded the building; on Saturdays, he just did his utmost to stay out of the way of the entire female species... but sometimes it was too much and he had to resort to simply ignoring them: like now… when he could blatantly hear the buzzing talk of the girls below.  
Flies, they were. That was all. Insects. Not worth his attention. Not worth his… But his ears were starting to vibrate with constant irritation and his head was aching. He gritted his teeth, trying to think of happier days… but that failed as he realised he'd never really had any.

"Ugh."

Tsukiko frowned and glanced up. Rei was already pouting.

"He's spotted us… No fair… Just as it was getting good…"

Tsukiko rolled her eyes. How was watching the Kasekage grunt and look in the opposite direction any more interesting than not watching him? She sighed and wiggled her big toe through the hole in her sock whilst, beside her, Rei quaked up at the chin of her crush.

Her adoring stare almost made him blush. He hated this; everything about this. Girls, publicity, paperwork… heck, even the uniform sometimes (he'd never really liked baby blue), but, more than most, he hated this girl: this pair of girls. The taller one the most, though. She thought she was 'it', dragging around her lazy friend to state meetings just to stare holes into his face… oh yes, and the most annoying thing was, that she thought, every single terrible time, that he hadn't noticed! What nonsensical fool would ever think that he, Gaara of the Almighty Desert Funk whose awesomeness had already earned him the position of ultimate Kasekage and whose boxed up monster had already earned him the title of 'he who can't be loved', wouldn't have noticed embarrassing glassy-eyed girls gawking at him and burning little holes in his cranium with their ogling little eyes? Hmph… Well, he was Kasekage, wasn't he? He could easily kill them – he did what he wanted – nobody would notice… no, that was Shukaku's way. Not Gaara's. Gaara was calm. Gaara was tranquil. Gaara was kind. He thought of others. He smiled once in a while. He laughed sometimes. He was… right. What were those little freaks giggling about THIS time?!

Rei only noticed Gaara was gone from the balcony when she looked back up. Urgh! Who did he think he was, that Kasekage? Moving from the best staring spot in the building? It was all Tsukiko's fault for trying to start up a conversation and distracting her, and letting Gaara get away. They were probably conspiring against her in some sort of plot! His Lordship was probably running for the hills to become a hermit or something! Or erasing evidence of his life off the face of the Earth! Hah! But she wasn't stupid! She'd report it to the leaders in the council and- then she turned round.

Gaara's eyes were narrowed, one eyebrow raised, his mouth tilted in a smirk.  
"Going somewhere?"

"I… I…" Rei blushed, her face turning fiery and all the words on her tongue melting into stutters. Here he was! Her Gaara! Hers! Standing, speaking to her! Smiling at her! He was looking at her at last! Acknowledging her presence! Seeing her in all her… oh no… she was sweating; that always made her skin look shiny. She needed to apply more powder! And fast! Otherwise he'd never look at her in the same way again! But she'd left the powder pack back in her bedroom… oh poo… well, she'd just have to stick it out… She smiled encouragingly.

Gaara's smirk fell off his face. Why was she smiling? He was looking at her like he was going to eat her and all she could do was smile? It was infuriating! He was supposed to be evil! And bad! And nasty! Last time he'd looked at a girl with that level of intensity, she'd wet her knickers and fainted along with the two girls behind her! But then, this girl was a special case: she was an idiot, after all. It would have to be explained, carefully and calmly. He took a deep breath, counted to ten and-

"REI! NO! YOU CAN'T KISS THE KASEKAGE: YOU'LL GET ARRESTED!"

"What's all this!?"

"Ototo!"

"I'm fine…"

"Do you want help, Jan?"

"Thanks, Kankuro, but I'm fine."

"Just what did you think you were doing, you little-"

"Aiiiii! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I apologise!"

"You better be…"

"And who's she, do you know?"

Gaara was brushing the grime off of the front of his uniform and trying to regain composure when he answered: "Her little accomplice."

Kankuro's eyes narrowed and he turned. Tsukiko tried to remain calm: it wasn't her fault, she wasn't guilty, Rei was a psychopath- but it was hard to think straight when the Kasekage's angry brother was holding you up by the collar of your shirt and sticking a kunai to your throat. After this – if there was an afterwards – she was going to ditch Rei and then she was going to pulverise her and then burn her ashes and trample them into the dirt and then cover them in exploding putty and curse them into eternity. And then made sure they got there. And sit on them.

"How were you involved in this, sand village traitor?" Kankuro growled, his teeth bared. Tsukiko shut her eyes and prayed that she'd come through this in no more than three pieces. And then she felt Kankuro set her down, heard him turn, smelt lily of the valley and talcum powder. She opened an eye.

"Tsukiko…" Rei was standing behind Kankuro, her eyes downcast and her hands folded submissively in front of her. Kankuro was frowning, Temari and Gaara too. Her friend took a deep breath… "Tsukiko is innocent. It was all me. I… she tried to stop me from… I… it was all me. I'm sorry, old… friend…" And she looked up into her old friend's face as Kankuro bound her hands and lead her away.


End file.
